• sibyllezion

From dreaming to experiencing - the reality of God




"Ja, Vater!" (Sara Sumser)

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[10] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8,38 ff, NIV)

My dear friends,


My life was in shambles. When I returned to Jesus in 2004, I had messed up just about everything you can mess up. In my quest for knowledge, in my search for what the Bible calls the gift of healing, I had absolutely lost my way.


Not that I ever seriously wanted to, but I had not only betrayed Jesus, but also dragged others into the world of the New Age, of esotericism. I had followed "the Master Jesus", confused energies with the Holy Spirit, started reading the Bible mystically, if at all. "The Law of Attraction", angel faith and channeling instead of God's voice had dominated my life, protection rituals and incense had taken the place of what we call prayers for protection. Illusion worlds had spun me in, I followed my "feeling". Light and love were the figureheads, constant spinning around myself the result. "You have to dissolve the pattern if you really want to be free. You must master that to be truly free. Send the universal life energy into your past, into your present, into your future, into this specific situation and ask it to release the trauma behind it." It never came to an end, this self-liberation.


The path I had chosen because I was more perceptive than the average person and believed in God's reality, really believed, was...Reiki.


Reiki is where you get initiated. I knew immediately that something was wrong when Buddhist teachers were channeling energy into me in the initiation room. But on the other hand, what I had encountered in Christian communities up to that point was so cold and uninvolving that I thought I had found the philosopher's stone.


The flow of energy was palpable, and fatally, since early childhood I had (and have) the ability to feel blessings. To feel prayers. It was not difficult to confuse one with the other. Within a very short time, I was told "Christ" was "my Master." It was comforting and lulling to hear that name.


It was a path that did not deliver what it promised. My entire perception of reality gave way to an illusion. A bit like when you think you're slim, but you're overweight bordering on morbid obesity. A bit like when you think and proclaim you are loved and accepted, but your whole environment contradicts this assumption. A bit like when you are convinced you just need to keep thinking you are taken care of, but your bank balance is only in the red.


The bottom line is a subtle lie that lulls you and makes you feel good, but never stands up to any kind of scrutiny, just as drugs lull you into a sense of well-being, but provide for a rude awakening.


The Master Christ, he was considered an ascended master, just as the ascended masters Mary, St Germain ( Joseph of Arimathea) , all the apostles and additionally Buddhist teaching masters appeared. Perceptible, with scent of roses as in the sacred legends.


I was highly initiated, and at some point I realized that there were only two directions on this path: you take your power and start manipulating, or you lose yourself completely in the spiritual spheres, on the verge of madness.


What saved me was the fact that I never, ever demoted Jesus to a prophet, to an ascended master, or to pure man. When the darkness and fear became so great that it seemed like an eternal abyss, yet I still had Him staking His claim on me. And my confession that he is the Son of God, the only true one. And yet I belong to him, am his property.


Thus began my walk with God, which I continue to walk to this day.


In my despair, I asked him to save me from these confused energies, these false angels, these pretend demons and this fog that held me captive. And I asked him, no, I demanded from him after a long time of illusion:


"Jesus, you say you are truth. Show me truth! Show me the truth about my life! You say you are the way. Show me the way! Jesus, you say you are life. Show me you are life!" You say you are real, show me how real you are!"


I cried it out to Him, knowing that otherwise I was lost. For power, I knew in the deepest abyss of myself- power claim and manipulation is Satan.


He responded immediately.

" End this relationship. Go to the Jesus Freaks. Less than three weeks later, I was free. Meeting with those I needed, an unspectacular prayer of release in a pub after a long conversation asking that the Holy Spirit take over me completely because I wanted to belong only to God. The flow of energy from the "chakras", which never stops after Reiki because you are on a path of initiation, was gone within three days. Freedom. It took me half a year to be completely myself again. There was constant prayer for my release. I had nightmares, the feeling of burning inside. I was afraid and there was a smell of decay in my rooms. A Christian woman who practiced Reiki, on the side, threw Coke cans at me during prayer times. "Traitor," she hissed. Never did I doubt infant baptism and confirmation, the walk I had with Jesus before. But confessional baptism was mandatory. I remember the vow: "As a sign before all invisible spheres, never again will I follow any other Lord than Jesus Christ alone. Never. Again. Magic.


The shambles was immense. By the separation from my really not particularly beneficial, but burdening,aimless relationship had the consequence that I lost my social environment. My bank balance was a disaster, although I worked daily in the social welfare office, part-time. I no longer had an apartment. It had remained with my ex-boyfriend. I slept here and there until I finally found a tiny Wg room. Heartbreak. Overwhelm. And deep, deep regret, more than a walk to Canossa to tell my "disciples" that I had converted. Yes, I felt the sin into which I had fallen. I lost my closest friends because Jesus was a no go for them.


And yet, not four months after my conversion, I stood on a stage and gave a testimony sermon, completely unprepared. Overwhelmed by what God had done for me, I asked the Holy Spirit to use the lack of preparation ( I found out 2 hours before the start that they wanted me as a substitute speaker, in front of a rowdy tent with drunken non-Christians) as an opportunity for himself. "Now seize nevertheless also times that you are called to it!" Those,who were with me in the pre-prayer, were annoyed by my "It is my honor to go for you" prayer. By my kneeling. But I bowed my head on my knees because of this undeserved grace.


To this day, I don't remember a word I said. I vaguely know I was talking about friendship. About Jesus, who is real. Whose reality we must acknowledge. Who is good. Who finds ways where there are none. The result was spellbound eyes, astonished silence and conversions.


What had I done? I had, instead of claiming his authority over me, surrendered myself to him. I had accepted his authority over me. Stepped back, with my supposed knowledge, and assumed that he who was able to show me concrete truth, to manage my affairs, would also be able to rock this situation.


I have often wondered why Jesus allowed me to run so far from Him. That I became trapped in darkness. We Christians always think that Satan somehow comes along smelling of sulfur and openly claiming power. That he is sinister and can be found in the darkness that surrounds us. We are quick to attribute every life crisis to him, and the naiveté with which even Satan is insulted in charismatic circles shocks me to the core.


No, you see. He doesn't work that way. He is the father of lies, and it takes a little more than a horse's foot and dark feelings to seduce the elect. The best way to deceive someone is to lull them into comfort.


Make up a story that is not true, but the naive, gullible Christians in their boundless unthinking will surely swallow. "Heaven Does Exist" was a sob story of a boy who had visited heaven. It sold millions of copies. Years later came the confession: All made up. All a marketing stunt. Put healthy people in wheelchairs and have them jump out of them with Hallelujah as a sign of healing. If someone calls you out on it being fake, reply, "But it strengthens their faith."


But most of all, spin them in, with fake spirits. With Reiki, all-religion, and positive thinking. "Everything is energy, and God just wants us to be okay." Let them dream instead of living what Jesus wants. Please be aware that lies and illusion are never compatible with God. For Jesus is truth.


Please, friends, be careful out there. God is real, and how real I will write in my next article. An incredible story that can be witnessed. That actually happened. That is tangible. To which there are plane tickets and recipes for scones. The story of the very young Christian I was back then. And who was seen in all her brokenness, and received in response:


"I just wanted to show you that I could take you to the other side of the world if I wanted to. I wanted to give you all this because I love you and you never had it."


What kind of story is that?


Well, it's an incredible story. The story of God sending a little girl to New Zealand so that one day she could swim on the most beautiful beach in the world. Follow me. I hope you will then understand the difference between illusion and reality. And I hope you will see and recognize Jesus for who He really is:


All-powerful. All-seeing. When he heals, he really heals. From the inside out and completely. When he shows ways, they work too- transcending boundaries and in control. When he speaks to you, you feel recognized, understood, and it is reflected in your life. Concretely, through events, through changed situations.


What you need for that?


Oh. A cross with just two words above it:


"Yes, Father."


"Yes, you are my Father, and I trust in you. Yes, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven- and above mine. Yes, I will follow you wherever you call me. Yes, I'm coming- but please, you go ahead. "


But the most important thing you need, it is the realization that you are loved, wanted and accepted. By the King of Kings. And that no path, no matter how dark, can ever change that. For that is your key to the joy and gratitude that will draw you to Him. Above and beyond all else. And then- come from faith to implementation and acceptance. So that His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.


Be blessed.


Sibylle.



Sources:


The Bible. New International Version. Quoted here from: www.bibleserver.com. Romans 8,38-39.


Quote: Sara Sumser.


Photo: Pixabay.

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